Dating with privileges

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It’s pretty simple: a relationship is hard enough and becomes more difficult with racism, white supremacy, and white fragility.

This is not to say that racial compatibility solves all relationship problems; Black love is not without its many struggles because relationships inherently require work.

Have I not met his parents because of my race or just because of his own internalized homophobia?

When his friend calls me “Malik or whatever,” will he let that slide?

But despite our male privilege, the intersection of our Blackness and queerness exists in a society that privileges heterosexuality.

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Society tells us that ‘white is right,’ not just in terms of intellect, but also in terms of beauty and anything else you can think of.

At this point, the societal factors for not dating a white man become personal and political.

Institutions and society work together to purposefully prevent white people from seeing their privilege.

After 26 years as a Black queer man and two separate 2.5-year relationships with white men, 2015 is the year I have decided to stop dating white men indefinitely.

While my personal decision not to date white men is the direct result of dating white men, the decision is rooted less in my experience with the individuals I dated and more in my experience with society.

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