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You know how I (according to one obsessed commenter) think gentile women are superior to Jewish women?
Well, apparently so does “Avi Roseman,” the pen name of a 26-year-old single woman who has written and self-published “Secrets of Shiksa Appeal: 8 Steps to Attract Your Shul Mate (i Universe).
Yet in the personal realm the irritation of this fetishization transforms into a very material reality.
It is quite unsettling and very degrading to be essentialized as such.
” There was, in these men, significant pride in being attracted to and interested in a Jew – not in me, just in my Jewishness. I felt alone; yet I also suspected I was far from isolated.
For a while, I was one of the few out, observant Jews on my campus, and it felt like I had been asked out by many for my novelty factor than out of general interest. Spelunking on Google and awkward conversations with friends revealed that I wasn’t alone in this experience.
As volumes of academic literature note, our Jewishness is constantly owned, defined, and re-determined by others, not just ourselves.
We don’t need to be redefined again as “not Jewish enough” just because we don’t meet someone’s harebrained sexual fantasies of the “good Jewish hottie.” I myself was told that I wasn’t really Jewish by a (non-Jewish) ex because I didn’t meet his definition of a “real Jew.” Finally, most exoticized Jews are Ashkenazi Jews – and thus “white.” If we’re being made “exotic,” we are the “exotic but still white” – and thus inserted into another perpetuation of racist structures.
Instead, I shall say that I have been essentialized one time too many to the image of a Jew.
The gist of her missive (which opens with “I once drove a boyfriend into the arms of a shiksa”) is that gentile women know better than Jewesses how to entice male members of the Tribe — and instead of complaining about “shiksas stealing our men,” Jewish women can “learn from them and prevent them from doing that in the first place.” In a nutshell, here’s what shiksas, according to Roseman, who also refers to herself as “Ms.
Avi,” know and Jewesses must learn: dress sexy but don’t be a slut; take care of your looks; don’t be clingy or JAP-py; do play hard to get and don’t waste your time with commitment-phobes.
Sometimes, the idea of submission was romanticized – the “oppressed” Jewish woman being liberated by the goyishe savior. All had run into problems with certain Jewish practices being not palatable to their partners because of “ew factor,” Hebrew content, or general “un-sexiness.” Google revealed one narrative of a woman whose non-Jewish fetishizer had Nazi-on-Jew fantasies.
It was comforting to know that I was not the only person who had been objectified for my faith, heritage, and cultural attachments. Jew-fetish, after all, is quite easily found in the wider world.