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Personally, I have had breakups where I pretty much went cold. I wanted her to be OK, I wanted good things for her in life, but I knew that nothing was going to make the situation better.

No discussion was going to fix things, no clarity was to be had – it would have just been an emotional toilet for both of us.

Every guy has a set of core values for who he is, what he stands for, and what he really wants out of life.

Sometimes in a relationship, a guy will really, really love a girl and may start to compromise these core values.

In the case where you dumped the guy, one common reason is that the guy doesn’t want to be alone, he doesn’t want to deal with his grief over the breakup and he doesn’t want to “deal with himself.” When he jumps into another relationship, he can get a dose of external female validation and derive a feeling of false sense of self-esteem and self-worth from her positive attention.

It has its cost though and eventually devolves into a crippling neediness.

All they experience is the continuous suffering and they want the suffering to end.

It’s not uncommon for people, men or women, to derive their sense of well-being, self-worth, and self-esteem from how other people treat them.

I’ve heard things like “When a guy’s relationship ends, he replaces her.

When a woman’s relationship ends, she mourns,” or “He’s just hooking up with such-and-such to spite the ex-girlfriend,” or “Guys just don’t care” and other nonsense.

Maybe he changes his lifestyle, stops hanging out with certain friends, or changes his habits.

It seems innocent enough, but over time the guy begins to starve for whatever it was he got from the things he gave up.

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