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When guys insist that any woman could go out and get laid if she wanted, this actually makes it make the first move.

Everything in our culture drills “men make the first move” into women’s heads.

Not every Brohemian is a collar-popping date rapist and not every quiet geeky wallflower is a shy Prince Charming waiting to be discovered. Sometimes the geek is the one who you have to be worried about.

So on top of the cultural baggage and the approach anxiety, a woman who may want to approach a man has to roll on the singles bar random encounters table and hope she doesn’t roll low.

And that lack of info can be especially important for women.

Remember what I said about how some guys freak out over overturned gender roles? There are many men who are profoundly uncomfortable with any sort of non-traditional forms of gender-expression whether it’s through looks or behavior, and by trying to make an overt move, women risk stepping squarely on that particular emotional landmine.

However, once you understand the social dynamics of am – then you’re intimately familiar with the heart palpitations, the sweaty palms, the dry mouth and the infinite variations of “What’s Going To Go Wrong” that flash through your head when you’re trying to psych yourself up to make the approach. Because they perceive women as the ones who ultimately control access to sex, they tend to miss out on a very fundamental issue: .

One of the insidious issues of the idea that women are somehow in charge of dating and have it so much easier than men do is that it invalidates and erases every woman who’s ever been rejected by somebody she’s attracted to.

The manner in which they approach you tells you a When you’re making the approach, unless you’ve been scoping them for a while, you’ve got considerably less info to work with.A lot of what makes us react one way or another to somebody is unconscious.When we see somebody, we instinctively process many, many non-verbal clues as to the person’s inner character from the way they walk, the way they smell and the way they interact with other people.Here’s something to keep in mind: dating and approaching isn’t about taking home the gold medal in the Who Has It Worse Olympics.It’s not about “women have it worse, so suck it up and make the move”, nor is it about whose “responsibility” it is for being the aggressor.

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